This Week.

This week has been less than stellar. I am always struck by peoples comments about the "emotional roller coaster" of weight loss or the better yet - as I cant do anything to help or change it - "the meds are making you feel this way".

Really this week has just been shit. I can say this, its my blog and its my ongoing journey and record of that journey so I can say that. So Ive been pretty emotional, yes, tears WAY yes, moody yup, snappy sure have. Why I don't know.

I know its been a week of memories from a year ago at this time...time of great loss...anniversaries of that ache in my heart..can I blame that...dunno...do I know its going to be a kinda sucky two weeks coming...probably..BUT..is it the cause..don't think so..really?

So back to it..I'm in pain..it doesn't seem to be taken seriously or at all abnormally for my dr..though I am bringing it up again in April when I go..its annoying and sometimes leaves me almost in tears. Tonight I was in so much pain I thought I was going to hurl.

So its been a week of crying, frustration, annoyance...and I ate a piece of a bread stick..small like a ounce worth of bread tonight...when I eat things which aren't on the list I get REALLY pissed off and mad at myself. Only made worse by it making me feel really ill by eating whatever it is I haven't had in a month or two now...so add ill on top of pain and you get really mad me.

Just frig it all. "its all worth it in the end" at first that mattered..I'm already doubting there is a worth it part for me...

time will tell..tomorrow is a new day..next week a new week...and on it goes..

H.